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It’s Complicated: My Relationship with Organized Religion and Thoughts Regarding the Muslim Ban

It’s been a few days since my last blog post. The Muslim travel ban has me shook. I’ve been wanting to tackle the subject of religion, but I had to make sure that I was ready and willing to say what’s on my mind, hopefully without alienating the religious people in my life.

I have a complicated relationship with religion. I grew up in a semi-religious family. We spent a lot of Sundays in church, although I don’t remember a whole lot of Sunday morning service stretching out into other areas of my week. When I got to high school, I attended church services with friends. I think I was even in AWANA for a season or two. The point is, I was exposed to it fairly extensively. For the most part, I never questioned what I was taught.

Late in my high school years, that started to change. I became more observant of the people around me. I met several people who were really only “Christ-like” on Sunday mornings. I lost loved-ones in ugly, gut-wrenching ways and was told that it was “all part of God’s plan” and that I needed to trust that “He had a better place for them”. I heard people say “Love thy neighbor as thyself” on Sunday and then call my gay friend an abomination. When I became an adult and lived on my own, I was able to choose for myself what part, if any, organized religion would play in my life and the lives of my children. I made the conscious decision that it wasn’t for me.

I honestly don’t know if I believe in God. Most days, I am pretty sure that I don’t. However, I do believe in the afterlife. I’ve experienced too many things that I have no explanation for. And I sit here at 37 years old and I don’t know how to reconcile those 2 polar opposite feelings. See what I meant when I mentioned it being “complicated”?

Here is what I do know…what I feel in my heart. Organized religion is a benefit to those who practice. It provides guidance to those who are lost, family to those who are alone, lifelong friendships, benefits to the communities they worship in, fellowship with like-minded individuals and families, and boundless hope during the darkest times. I believe, as a religious person, that you can believe in whomever you choose, and abide by the guiding principles of whichever Book you choose. YOU.

What I also believe with all of my heart is that your religious beliefs end where the next person begins. You cannot use your religion to dictate to anyone else how they can live their own lives. And you cannot use your religion to exert power over someone who believes differently. If you are a Christian who believes that gay marriage is against God’s will, then you refrain from participating in a gay relationship. If you are a Catholic who believes that taking birth control is a sin, then you shouldn’t take birth control. If getting an abortion is against your religion, then don’t get one.

People of other religious faiths or non-believers are not the enemy. They are not people to be looked down upon. They are not people that deserve disrespect because they have a different value system than your own. They should not be looked upon with disgust. They shouldn’t be denied service because you disagree with them. And your beliefs shouldn’t be the basis for any laws in a country where everyone is FREE to practice whichever religion they choose…even if they worship Henry Winkler or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We have a judiciary system in place to decide what is and isn’t a crime and to punish those who break our laws; church separate from state.

According to recent study, there are 2.2 billion Christians on this planet. There are 1.6 billion practicing Islam. There are 1 billion agnostics/atheists, a billion Hindus, and 396 million Buddhists. That is a lot of people with a lot of ideas. Think of all of the amazing and wonderful things we could learn from each other if we just stopped thinking we were better than one another.

People of Muslim faith are being discriminated against, attacked, denied entry into our country, and even killed for their differences. 1.6 billion human beings are hated because a few of their numbers have come to America and killed under the guise of serving their God. They are called radical Islamic terrorists. The term is thrown around a lot these days in the news and on social media. They are spectres of evil who can just walk right into the country through the “gaping holes” in our border to terrorize our country in the name of Allah.

But what about the radical terrorists born and raised on American soil? Would it be fair to judge all Christians based on our interaction with The Westboro Baptist Church, Frank Silva Roque, John C. Salvi, Paul Jennings Hill, Adam Lanza, or Timothy McVeigh?

According to recent news, 100,000 foreign-born legal residents who spent almost 2 years and countless dollars being vetted by our government and granted visas to live and work in our country, have had those visas destroyed in one fell swoop. They face separation from their families, loss of jobs and income, loss of homes and businesses…all because of baseless fear on the parts of intolerant, mostly “Christian” Americans. Tens of thousands of innocent Syrian refugees, including thousands of children, will die attempting to escape the horrors of war in their own country because apparently our God is right and their God is wrong.

I’m heartbroken for each of the people affected by this ban. And I’m mad as Hell that there are millions of people supporting it. I will NEVER presume to lump all Christians together. I know that there are millions of practicing Christians who are fighting the good fight every day to defend against hate and fear, who love and embrace humans from all walks of life, lifestyle, and religion. But, at the same time I’m disgusted by those who would use their personally held system of beliefs to shout from their supposed moral high ground in an attempt to hinder the progress of their fellow humans, sow seeds of hate and fear throughout this free land, and refuse to live peacefully among people of all faiths.

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. – Nelson Mandela

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A Quick Dose of Inspiration

The hits just keep on coming, don’t they? Most days I wake up and check my standard list of news organizations for the morning status report. Inevitably I get an overwhelming feeling of doom. BUT, I do my best to squish that feeling and decide which topic to focus on just for the day. Where are my efforts best applied?

The ongoing Muslim Ban, the reinstated global gag rule, the re-initiation of work on the Keystone pipeline, the continued fight to keep cartoon super villains out of the Cabinet, and now the nomination Neil Gorusch to be a Supreme Court Justice…it all makes my head spin. Thank goodness for the comedic stylings and wise words of Jon Stewart. Jon visited Stephen Colbert last night and did a dead-on impression of the 45th president reading a few of his upcoming executive orders. And there in the midst of the ridiculous costume, the jokes about narcissism, and off-script banter, came the words that settled me. Jon was speaking in the third person as DJT, so I cleaned up a few of the pronouns to make it easier to understand. Here is what he said:

It is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance, and every check and balance this great country can muster to keep DJT from going full Palpatine… We have never faced this before – purposeful, vindictive chaos. But perhaps therein lies the saving grace of [Trump’s] presidency. No one action will be adequate. All actions will be necessary. And if we do not allow DJT to exhaust our fight and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and Constitutionally partially intact, then [Trump] will have demonstrated the greatness of America…just not the way [he] thought he was going to.

Yes, we have a really hard road ahead. Yes, it is going to be exhausting. But when you think about these words, and when you watch people from all walks of life coming together in protest, and when you see the support of organizations all across the country and around the globe…you can use that warm and fuzzy feeling as fuel to keep pushing forward. Keep resisting!!

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3,024 Vs. 480,000

#NotMyPresident Trump enacted an executive order on Friday banning or delaying entry to the USA for seven predominantly Muslim countries. Effective immediately. And it includes LEGAL green card carrying immigrants. I don’t even know where to start with this nonsense.

Ok, while it’s enormously important, let us set aside the fact that he has (without notice) separated children from parents, husbands from wives, employees from jobs. Let’s not mention that not one American citizen has been killed on American soil by a radical terrorist from any of those seven countries. ZERO. And forget about the fact that the four countries from that region that are predominantly Muslim, AND are the source countries for all of the radical Islamic terrorists since September 11th, are also countries with which DT has business dealings. Forget all of that “nonsense” and consider this:

According to research conducted at the Cato Institute, between 1975 and 2015, 3,024 Americans have been killed on American soil by 88 foreign-born terrorists. 2,996 of the 3,024 were casualties of the September 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center, which was carried out by 19 terrorists from 4 countries NOT currently banned.

Let’s do some quick math, shall we? Let’s say all 88 of the foreign-born terrorists mentioned above are radical Muslim extremists (they aren’t). There are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world, so 88 of them represents 0.0000005.5% of the Muslim population. Remember, that’s over a 40 year period.

According to the CDC, in 2015 alone, there were 12,979 intentional homicides with a firearm. The population of the United States is 323 million.

Viewed another way, those approximately 12,000 firearm deaths per year in the same 40 year period add up to 480,000 lives extinguished on American soil by guns.

3,024 deaths vs 480,000 deaths. What is the real threat?

#RESIST

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Peace, Love and Kindness

I’ve learned a hard lesson this week. I left Washington on Monday with the high of inspiration, energy, and love…ready to take on every challenge the new administration threw at us. Then the executive order banning entry to Muslims happened.

I went from flying high to completely disheartened with the stroke of a pen. And I started to doubt that we could make a difference when our adversary is so powerful. I let myself forget what I posted just days ago. My daughters are my inspiration. THEY are why I am fighting.

Just now, my little girl reminded me of that in the most beautiful way. She showed me that she is paying attention. So I can’t lose hope and I won’t give up.

 

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RESIST for 3 Minutes Per Day

Think you don’t have enough time to make a difference in today’s political climate? If you can find even 3 minutes, then you’ve got what you need. In that 3 minutes, make one phone call. Call one of the two senators for your state and let them know how you feel on your topic of the day. For instance, let them know that you’re concerned about the nomination of Betsy Devos and ask them to oppose the confirmation.

The experience varies from day to day, but the script is essentially the same:

Hi my name is _______________, I’m a constituent from {your state and county}  and I”m calling to express my concern about ____________. I can be reached at {your phone number or email} . Thank you for your time.

Sometimes you’ll only be talking to a voicemail, other times you’ll get a real person. Just say you have a message of concern for whomever you’re calling and they will say they are happy to pass along the message. Then start your script.

202-224-3121 is the number to call to find out who your representatives are, if you’re unsure. Give them your zip code +4 and they will be able to connect you to a senator from your state or your district representative.

If you live in Ohio, you can call our senators directly by using these numbers:

Sherrod Brown (D) – 202-224-2315

Rob Portman (R) – 202-224-3353

My district representative here in Ohio is Jim Renacci (R), if you live in his district, he can be reached at 202-225-3876.

I put all three of those numbers into my favorites list on my phone.  It takes just minutes out of my day, but if we all make those calls every day, they will (hopefully) be more likely to listen.

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#WhyIMarch – Because I’m raising daughters

It wasn’t my plan to post today, but I’ve been inspired to write. The #whyImarch hashtag has been very important to myself and all of the other women and men who attended the WMW last weekend. All 2.9 million of us may not have agreed on all of the issues called out in the platform, but we all showed up in solidarity to oppose what we believe is wrong.

One of the signs that has showed up in my social media repeatedly, that I am paraphrasing, said “Things must be really bad, even the introverts are out here”. This one hits home for me because I have severe social anxiety, especially when it involves large crowds of people. It was a rough day, and I had a few bad moments, but I never once considered leaving.

Another sign that became one of my favorites said “I am out here protesting so my daughters won’t have to.” That is why I stayed. I want my daughters to grow up in a country where they can love whomever they choose and that their love will be celebrated equally. I want them to know that no matter what other people try to tell them, their bodies are their own and only THEY get to make the decisions. I want them to know that their mother fought for the notion that sexual assault is UNACCEPTABLE and should be dealt with immediately and with harsh, life-altering consequences for the perpetrator. I want them to grow up to be strong, powerful, intelligent women because they were raised by strong, powerful, intelligent women who taught them that they should never allow themselves to be treated as second class citizens.

I really, really wish we could clean this mess up before my daughters have to get involved. But I also really, really wish that my daughters become passionate enough about a cause to jump in and do something about it. I’ve decided to lead by example. My wish for them is peace. But if that just isn’t in the cards, then my wish for them is strength and compassion in the face of adversity.

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The Women’s March on Washington – I’m STILL Processing

July 26th, November 17th, July 2nd, January 21, 2017. My children’s birthdays, my wedding date, the Women’s March on Washington. These are the dates I will never forget as long as I live. I haven’t finished processing the events of the day just yet, but I have SO much to talk about that I couldn’t wait another minute to write the first post.

Let’s talk about how I feel right now.  I’m at about 48 hours post march as I’m writing.  I feel inspired.  I feel optimistic.  My heart is full of light and love.  I have a renewed energy. I feel a new and powerful connection with 3 million people I’ve never met.  I’m physically exhausted and mentally prepared to ACT.  The shirts my sister and I wore on Saturday say “we have been awakened”.  That about sums it up.

We may have been living in a bubble, but we aren’t anymore.  We are ready, willing, and able to fight.  And that’s what we are going to have to do…fight.  Fight for gender equity, LGBTQ rights, religious liberties, immigrants’ rights, women’s reproductive rights, for freedom of speech and freedom of the press and freedom to peaceably assemble, for clean water and clean air, for renewable energy, for prison reform and gun reform, for single payer health care and for the black Americans all across the country who are afraid of the people who are meant to protect them.

The list is long.  It feels overwhelming, yes.  But when you stop to realize that you are not alone, that 3 million of your closest allies have your back, it doesn’t seem overwhelming at all.  Whether you were on the ground in Washington, marching in one of the hundreds of Sister Marches around the world, or cheering us on from wherever you live, we all felt that energy.  It followed us home and we can’t let the energy fizzle…not even for one second.  We have been awakened and there’s no time for complacency anymore.

I’ll continue to talk more about the March in upcoming posts.  I’ll also start talking with you about how you can get involved in this fight yourself.  Whether you can commit 5 hours a week or 5 minutes a day, there is something you can do to help.  Check back soon for the next update and be sure to let me know your ideas for advancing the cause.

Show me what democracy looks like!

This is what democracy looks like!

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#WhyWeMarch

I mentioned in my post yesterday that my sister and I will be traveling to Washington, DC on Saturday to participate in the Women’s March on Washington.  We got together recently to put into our own words why it is important for us to be there.  This is #WhyWeMarch:

Too long have we stood by and kept silent, too long have we whispered behind doors but lived life as if we weren’t affected. We have been awakened. We will rise up. We will find a way to conquer hate. And she and I will do it together, among millions of others who refuse to watch hate toward other humans become the norm. 

We will share stories of kindness and love and support.  We will finally begin to take action, in a way we have kept closely guarded in the backs of our minds. I can’t answer why we have sat on the sidelines until now, but that is no longer an option. Every generation has found a way to fight and make a difference.  This country had to fight to convince others to end slavery, to allow women to vote, to let all Americans choose to love any gender.  And now it is our turn to stand tall and proud and fight for all of those rights and more. 

We will not be ignored.

We will not be marginalized.

We will not stand idly by.

WE WILL NOT FADE AWAY.

We march for love and kindness. We march for her daughters and my nieces. We march for equal pay for women. We march for Planned Parenthood and the incredible work they do saving lives everyday. We march for peace. We march for our LBGTQ friends. We march for freedom for ALL. We march for immigrants and their rights. We march for religious freedom. We march for the ownership of our OWN bodies. We march for you. We march for each other. And we march for the future. 

We will be a powerful voice against hate and those who threaten the progress we have made and the great strides yet to come. 

Millions of women, one voice. 

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Well, THAT Just Happened! Now What?

How can you be an activist when you’re busy working and raising your kids and maintaining a freakin’ house?

That’s what I’ve been asking myself since November 8, 2016.  I had been floating along in my tiny bubble of liberal privilege, when BAM, I ran straight into a giant angry red cactus.  My first reaction was “Holy crap!  This is the end.  This will be the extinction level event that starts out as a slowly burning ember and ends with multiple nuclear missiles being fired at once.”  I’ll admit, I am prone to hyperbole…especially when my anxiety is being triggered…continuously…for tweets at a time.

Now, I’ve had 2 months to calm down.  I’ve spent 2 months paying closer attention to the news than I have in my entire life.  I’ve tried to educate myself on the backgrounds and ideals of the new players in this administration.  I’ve done my research on the social issues that I’ve always supported, but never gotten to know at a deep enough level.  And now, with my 2 additional months to digest and to learn, I’m thinking that I need to forget that whole “slowly burning ember” thing and jump straight into nuclear missiles are going to fall from the sky.

In all seriousness, this isn’t a matter to take lightly (although I will try and add some comic relief, because we will all go crazy without a little bit of levity).  There are deep, far reaching, long lasting consequences that will be felt by every American if we continue to sit back and let the incoming administration run roughshod over every human right we’ve fought for in the last century.

That is why I’ve found myself asking how I can release my inner activist when I spend my days in a cubicle and my evenings raising a family and running a household.  It is becoming increasingly clearer, with every new headline, that I would be doing my daughters a disservice if I didn’t figure that out.  And so, I will not use the I-simply-do-not-have-time defense and I will get out there and do something…anything…that I think might help in any small way.

This blog will be a small step in my plan.  I need an outlet for all of the disbelief, fear, anger, and sometimes hopelessness that I feel when I think about what could be.  And I know there are other women and men out there who feel just as helpless as I do.  They want to get involved, but think to themselves “What can I do?  This problem is too big.  I don’t have the resources to help bring about positive change”.  As individuals, it would seem overwhelming.  But as a COMMUNITY working together, we have all of the resources we need.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has.  –Margaret Mead

To begin my journey as an activist, I’ll be marching with my sister at the Women’s March on Washington this weekend.  Our plan is to talk to as many people and get as many stories and perspectives as we can.  Next week, I will share with you what we learn and begin to make a real plan for juggling everyday life and SMASHING THE PATRIARCHY.  Um….I mean, coming together as a community to effect positive change in such a dire political climate.  Join me, won’t you?